Windmills of my Mind

[likemy_role]

After returning from their weekend away JJ put the ring in the drawer of her bedside table. She couldn't put her thoughts away so easily. It was a long week, mostly spent in Idaho where an arsonist was burning down churches; they'd caught him, bot not before the death toll hit five. Most of her focus had been on the case, but in those few moments she could call her own her thoughts were on the ring and the answer that Dave was waiting for. He didn't mention it, but she could tell from the small looks and more distracted than usual behavior that it was heavy on his mind.

Dave had stayed late, working on reports that had piled up on his desk while they were gone. JJ had relieved the nanny and taken henry over to Garcia's for the night; she wanted some time alone with Dave. She'd started a pot roast in the crock pot that morning, and opened a bottle of wine so it could breathe; just because she couldn't drink any didn't mean that he should be denied the pleasure. There wasn't much else to do. JJ sat on the couch, but it had been a very long week and pretty soon sitting turned into laying down and 'resting' her eyes turned into a nap.

Comments

[hell_ofa_thing]

He followed her with a curious look on his face.

"The evening's not over yet," he reasoned. "What are these plans?"

[likemy_role]

"This is so not how I'd planned on doing this. I had you all cosy and relaxed on the couch, and there was wine, and I was going to figure out a way to..." Her voice shook, and she closed her eyes to take a few deep breaths; she wasn't going to throw up again, damn it.

"This scares me, but I don't think waiting is going to make it any less scary, and as much as I feel like I'm in the dark with this I know I'm in the dark with you, and I have faith in you. In us." She was going to run out of air if she didn't take a breath soon. JJ reached into her cardigan pocket and took out the jewelry box she'd taken out of her bedside drawer when she'd gotten home earlier. "I'm botching this up. What I'm trying to say is that I want to spend my life with you."

[hell_ofa_thing]

He wasn't surprised that the subject of the proposal came up, though he'd been mentally preparing himself for her to say no. He'd hoped she'd say yes, of course, but her uncertainty had beget some uncertainty in him as well.

His eyes were just the slightest bit moist when he leaned forward to take her hands. He opened the jewelry box and took the ring out, and then pressed it gently against her palm when he held her hands.

"That's all I want, too," he responded huskily.

[likemy_role]

She'd been thinking about it for a week, and decided that the longer she waited the harder it was going to be to give him an answer, no matter what that answer was. It scared her and cofounded her and she still didn't know how she felt about marriage but she knew how she felt about him. this was important to him and he was important to her, and being with him was important to her. The rest they could figure out together.

She closed her eyes and listened to the beat of his heart in his chest, not noticing that her nausea had gone away. "You give me romance and flowers and a getaway retreat in Maine, I give you crackers and throwing up and barefoot in the kitchen. Not sure you're getting the best half of things, Dave," she joked self deprecatingly.

[hell_ofa_thing]

"And dinner and wine and you," he added with a little chuckle, moving closer to her. He slipped the ring onto her finger, pressing a delicate kiss to the knuckle. "Besides, I'm not really a flowers kinda guy."

His hands slipped lower to wrap around her waist, pulling her close to him.

"I know marriage scares you, and the fact that you're agreeing to this means everything to me. We don't need to rush into planning things," he assured her. Twenty years ago, he would've wanted to be married before the baby was born. But things were different. He didn't even feel the need to ensure it was a church wedding.

[likemy_role]

The ring was beautiful, flashing in the light of the kitchen as she rested her hand on his chest. She hadn't tried it on yet, not wanting to jinx anything, but it fit perfectly. She wasn't surprised; it was one of the little details he was so good at paying attention to.

"It does, but not as much as not having you in my life would scare me." She didn't mention the nightmare she'd had two nights ago, the details vague but the memory of him walking away and leaving her alone waking her in the middle of the night. She'd had a hard time falling asleep after that.

[hell_ofa_thing]

His arms tightened around her, an unconscious reflex at the mention of not having him in her life. He honestly didn't know how he would have reacted if she'd said no. Just the thought of it caused a great deal of pain, and it would be that much more intense if it had actually happened.

"I love you," he murmured against her hair, pressing a kiss to the crown of her head. "Let's get out of the kitchen." He wanted to hold her, and he couldn't do that as effectively when they were standing up.

[likemy_role]

"We can go anywhere you want to go." JJ threaded her fingers through his. Now that she'd made her decision she felt lighter, the weight of not knowing lifted from her shoulders. She was scared and nervous, but having the question on her mind for a week had been exhausting, and the baby was exhausting enough. "Henry's spending the night with Garcia so it's just you and me for the rest of the evening."

[hell_ofa_thing]

He smiled, nodded, and led her upstairs to the master bedroom they shared.

"We could go anywhere, but I've got everything I need right here." His fingers explored her back lightly, brow furrowing. "If you put something a little more comfortable on, I'll take care of these knots."

[likemy_role]

"That sounds like a deal." She disappeared into the closet, hanging up her cardigan an slacks, putting her bra and socks in the hamper and the shirt in the pile of things to be taken to the dry cleaner. Every time she moved her hand she paused to take a look at the ring sparkling on her finger.

A minute later she came out of the closet. She'd considered one of her nightshirts, but considering that they'd just gotten engaged the evening seemed to call for something more, so instead she was wearing one of Dave's tuxedo shirts and nothing else but her underwear.

[hell_ofa_thing]

He'd stripped down to his silk boxers and a long-sleeved shirt, and was pulling a bottle of massage oil out of his dresser drawer when he turned and saw her. In nothing but one of his tuxedo shirts. God, she knew how to drive him wild.

He smiled coyly, not betraying too much of his arousal on his face.

"You look better in that thing than I do," he said appreciatively. He set the bottle of massage oil down, then stroked two fingers down her cheek, and began to slowly undo the buttons of the shirt. He'd need to take it off to massage her, after all.

[likemy_role]

"Maybe I should start wearing this to work, then." She spun in a circle before reaching him. "Whadda ya' think, SSA Rossi? Is this appropriate office attire?"

The last week had been so long that they'd fallen into bed exhausted each night, both here and in their hotel room, doing little more than holding each other and sharing a good night kiss. Tonight neither of them were that tired.

[hell_ofa_thing]

He undid the second button of the shirt, and smiled mischievously. "Only if you're wearing it in my office. With the blinds closed."

It was funny to think that months from now, he wouldn't have an office anymore, wouldn't be SSA Rossi anymore, and wouldn't see her as much as he did now. But all he wanted to focus on tonight was her. Them. He undid the third button, standing a little closer to her now, letting her feel the heat of his breath.

[likemy_role]

"I seem to recall you trying to talk me into something like that once." Somehow she'd managed to resist, but that didn't mean she didn't fantasize about it. She smiled a little, thinking about it; maybe she should have gone for it. maybe if it was late enough at night she might.

She watched his hands as he undid each button. She loved watching his hands.

[hell_ofa_thing]

He could easily tell where her eyes were focused, and he smiled with amused affection; she'd stated on more than one occasion that she loved his hands, and she certainly spent a fair amount of time watching them. It was always flattering to have certain parts of yourself supremely adored by the person you loved.

Finally, the last button was undone. Very slowly, he caressed her shoulders as he pushed the shirt off of her.

"You want that massage now?"

[likemy_role]

"I want your hands on me. A massage is a good starting place." It wasn't where she intended to end things, but her muscles were a little sore. JJ shimmied out of her panties, letting them fall to the floor next to the shirt, before laying down on the bed.

[hell_ofa_thing]

Damn. It was going to be hard to concentrate with her underwear off, too. But he hesitated only a moment before straddling her on the bed, warming the massage oil in his hands before spreading it all over her back. And then he proceeded to knead the muscles, pressing firmly with his thumbs when he felt a particularly tight spot. He spent almost half an hour, loosening all of her muscles, making her completely relaxed. When he was done, he pressed a kiss to the base of her neck and rolled over beside her, onto his back.

[likemy_role]

"Have I mentioned lately how much I love your hands?" She turned her head to look at him, her eyes only half open. She rested her own hand on his upper arm.

"I didn't know my back was that tense until you started doing that." She wasn't tense now, not at all. If she was alone she probably would have fallen asleep, but she wasn't tired, just relaxed.

[hell_ofa_thing]

"It's the job," he reasoned, "you carry a lot of that around with you. I know I do." His hand lightly stroked down her spine, a feathery touch. "There will be plenty more of those back rubs to come when the kiddo starts getting bigger."

He smirked, leaning in so his forehead rested against hers. "What was that about loving my hands?"

[likemy_role]

"The job can be a little stressful," she agreed with a laugh. Little, of course, was a huge understatement.

"I never say no to a Rossi backrub, no matter what size this kid is." As much as she knew the pregnancy symptoms were only going to get harder to deal with she couldn't wait until she began to grow more, until her belly swelled and made it obvious to the world that she and Dave were having a baby together.

"I love watching them, when you use them to communicate or when you're cooking or undoing my shirt. I can't wait to see these hands of yours hold our baby." Her hand slid down his arm to touch his hand. "I love when these hands of yours are touching me too."

[hell_ofa_thing]

"Sometimes it's hard to keep my hands off of you," he confessed, with a gleam in his eye. He brushed his thumb over her knuckles. "I like your hands, too."

With his free hand, he brushed a thumb over her lips. "And your lips." His thumb stroked near her eye. "Your eyes." His fingers went through her hair. "Your mind."

[likemy_role]

"Are you trying to seduce me, David Rossi?" She rolled over on her side, facing him, careful to move slow enough that she didn't dislodge his hand from her hair.

[hell_ofa_thing]

"I wasn't aware I needed to," he teased.

He tangled his legs up with hers, ensuring they were closer. Of course, she was the only naked one at this point.

"You could help me with these clothes, though."

[likemy_role]

"You never do." She started on the buttons of his shirt, kissing his skin as it was revealed. She didn't need seduction, but the romance and compliments that he was so free with was always welcome. No one had ever treated her quite like he did.

"Better?" she asked as she undid the last button, kissing his skin just above the waistband of his boxers.

[hell_ofa_thing]

"Much," he smiled down at her. Stretching his arm just far enough, he could reach down and brush his fingers across her forehead. He could never stop touching her, whether it was skin-to-skin like this, or those little touches they shared throughout the day.